The Wild in Me…

It’s been a minute!

I’ve not been here in months. I’ve not even had the time to think about what to write about, let alone have the time to touch base with myself and see what comes up. So what changed? How comes I’m here on a Thursday Morning at 8am writing…

I resigned from my job. I was there three years and in all honesty, I had believed I would be there for the next thirty. I gave my heart and soul to that job, even though it took away everything from me, including my identity and self to some extent, but i was literally married to my position and work.

But something happened towards the end of last week. The Admin team was called in for a meeting and only one single PowerPoint slide was projected. That one slide changed my world.

I didn’t sleep that night and was at work on Saturday very early. MY role had been dissolved. A new position had been created that was being advertised for and I was being reduced to a docket that was very limiting. If I wanted to retain my position, or any of the new ones that were created from disintegrating my entire docket, I needed to apply for that. Otherwise, I would have to accept the position that I was being put into with a pay cut.

Something shifted, and for the first time in many years I asked myself – till when will you allow for others to determined what you should have, where you should be, and who you should become?

On Saturday I spoke to my line manager, and told her how I felt and cleared any confusion that may have come as a result of the presentation. There was no confusion. Changes were happening. My role had been dissolved.

And I resigned. I met with a lot of resistance from the board, and was told how unfair it was for me to leave just like that knowing that I carry a lot of the school on my shoulders (vast docket), but I think somewhere I felt like I was dealt a blow. And either I take that blow and stay scattered like a million little pieces on the floor until someone puts them together how they want, or I do it.

And that’s what I did. I realized I am done being manipulated by people, circumstances and emotions. I am done being disappointed by people, systems and ideologies. Nothing stops in this world. Your time is ticking and it is entirely up to you to make this life worth your time!

So, no more playing small! I only have one life. God knows how much of it I have left. I’m going to start living it for ME!