2022 : Amor Fati

You’re probably thinking I’ve turned into an Alien or Greek. I have not. Yet.

Amor Fati is the practice of accepting and embracing everything that has happened, is happening, and is yet to happen. It is understanding that the nature of the universe is change, and that without change we would not exist, our relationships would not exist, we wouldn’t laugh, cry, love, create, or grow

I realized today that I make these pages at the end of every year as a promise to myself, what I need to do or avoid in the coming year. As I was penning my thoughts for 2022, I went back and re-red what I had written down as my intentions for 2021. Did I follow / achieve what I has set out to for myself in 2021? I would be too harsh on myself if I said “Hardly!” . I believe that I was conscious enough to know when I was getting off the path and allowing myself to fall into an illusion, rather than stick with reality. You see, I’ve never experience life from within. It’s hard to explain this, but I have always lived life from the outside, like an observer. Not really “feeling” the chapter, but rather skimming through wanting to get over one chapter and move to the next. (If possible skip a few in the process).

But several events forced me to check in with reality. The most potent of these was towards the end of 2021. To be more precise, after the Full Moon of 19th November (Werewolf Howl!). To describe the events that followed the full moon of November, I’d like to quote Vishen Lakhiani : When we go through Shit, things Shift”

I did go through my own shit towards the end of the year which involved quitting my job at the academy. Working with a corporate and then quitting that, and finally joining a Charity. Did things shift? Yes. To some extent. I began to realize that this is my story, and if I am not going to take charge to the pen, then this will be one boring story to read! So I stopped trying to do, and started to listen. Started to notice. To observe what was going on not just around me, but also within me.

I stopped worrying about people’s opinion about me and started putting myself first. I started OWNING MY SHIT! I started to get in touch with myself again. Something I had not done in a very long time!

I finally took time of from everything to enjoy the things that I love to do – read! And towards the end of the year, I laid hands on a book that only helped me clarify what I want for myself, moving forward. If you have read Dr. Shefali’s A Radical Awakening, I am sure the opening poem that impacted you in one way or another. There is nothing new in the words of the poem, but this time around, I actually Felt them.

I will leave you with the words of the poem, and hope that when you read them, they touch you in some way or another, like they have me. And with that, I leave you with my intention for 2022. CLAIM IT! (keep it here to know what this means for 2022).

The Time of the Awakened Woman

There comes a time in the life of a woman
When she discards her old ways like tossed shoes in the garbage
When she shreds her list of “shoulds” and obligations
And when impossible expectations are burned in an incinerator

There comes a time in the life of a woman
When the approval of others once jewels now turn to pennies in her sock
When the hunt for another is now replaced by a hunt for herself
And when parental tentacles of tradition no longer define her truth

There comes a time in the life of a woman
When her desire to fit in with the crowd dissolves
When her manic compulsion to be perfect vaporizes
And when her obsession to be voted popular eviscerates

There comes a time in the life of a woman
When she simply says “no more”
When facade, artifice, and guile leave her nauseated
And when righteousness, dogma, and superiority repulse her

There comes a time in the life of a woman
When she no longer fears conflict but faces it boldly like a lioness
When she guards her authenticity as fearlessly as she guards her babies
And when she drops the role of savior knowing she can only save herself

There comes a time in the life of a woman
When she no longer cowers in the shadows of her unworthiness
When she no longer plays small so others can feel big
And when she swaps the role of victim for the role of cocreator

There comes a time in the life of a woman
When she unabashedly and boldly occupies her ultimate sovereignty
When she finally feels ready to claim her space in the world
And when she redefines compassion as unequivocal self-love

There comes a time in the life of a woman
When she finally releases her childlike dependencies on others
When she dares to rewrite a new mandate of living for herself
One that says:
I release unworthiness and fear
I divorce servility and passivity
I divest inauthenticity and enmeshment
I end the pretense of being someone I am not

And from now on I declare . . .

I will ascend into my highest power
I will embrace my greatest autonomy
I will celebrate my deepest worth
I will embody my fiercest courage and manifest the most authentic me

The time is now
I am ready
To awaken into my renaissance.