Are you and INFJ, also…

We were at work discussing the various personality types based on the Myers-Briggs Personality tests, and it was hard for people to believe I was actually an INTROVERT, let alone an INFJ.

Here’s why…

1. From a young age, you felt different from the people around you

I can say I almost felt alien. I had a hard time being around girls my age, because I was always the “weirdo” or the “eccentric” or the one who had the most varied outlook / opinion about things. Makes sense now.

2. You want to know what’s REALLY going on in people’s lives

I still ask those awkward “personal” questions. Don’t worry I’m not prying. I’m simply trying to get a “feel” of your experience. Whether it was a holiday, work or something as trivial as shopping…. be prepared to be bombarded with lots of questions..

3. Plans?

Although I’d like to believe I’m the Spontaneous kind, my spontaneity always comes with a loose plan in place. I tend to feel confused and somewhat frustrated when random unexpected events or plans crop up…. eeerrrrrrggghhh!!!

4. You’re social, but…

This is where I often get mistaken for an extrovert. When I’m around people and social settings that I am comfortable with, I can be the chatterbox, literally laughing out loud. But, once I’m done with you, I need to find myself a quiet space to unwind and recharge.  Leave me a lone for just 5 mins and I’ll bounce back.

5. How you handle problems

I am known to be a good listener, and people often “seek my counsel”. I deeply question the advice that I dish out – I’m not the best person you know, but I much rather leave people better than I found them, and that means having arrived at some solution for the problems they came to me with.

6. There are limits to your introversion

I looooovveee spending time on my own. In fact, at times I feel like I don’t have enough time on my own. I read, I blog, I paint, I listen to music, I be Me. I’m happy. But sometimes I do get asked, “Don’t you get bored being alone all the time?” and although the answer is always a “NO!”, the truth is, sometimes it does get to me. When I was younger, I used to have bouts of depression and lots of FOMO moments. But as I grew up, a day spent around people or simply chatting on the phone with a special friend helps get me back.

7. The Door Slam

Although I am tolerant of all types of people, there are some that I tend to lose my patience with, and these are the ones who experience total dissonance from me. I switch off, distance myself and eventually “disappear” from their lives.  I read somewhere that INFJ’s use this as a defense mechanism for not being hurt more than they already are… be careful then, how you tread these still waters.

8. You can be a people-pleaser

If there is anything that I hate – it’s getting on the wrong side of anyone. I often tend to find the middle ground if not totally abandon my side of the fence to come and help keep you’re greener. This sometimes costs me much more in terms of my emotional health, but I just want to see everyone happy! How hard can that be……

Sometimes, I use this just to avoid being criticized or dealing with disappointment (not mine, but others of me). So bending over backwards can be considered a “defense mechanism” against these emotional upheaval

9. Empathy & HSP

Have you ever cried at the movies?  Or then heard or seen something sad and had a hard time shaking that feeling off? Or maybe you were having a heart to heart with your best friend and noticed that you actually felt like you were going through his/he experiences?  Yes. Yes. And Yes. Well, that’s me (us) Big. Empathic. Empaths.

On the other side of the coin, we are HSPs (Highly Sensitive People). We immediately pick up vibes of those around us, and tend to mirror them. If the air stinks, we stink too.

10. You have a destiny and you are always striving to be better than you were

Growing up I always believed I was made for bigger things – saving the world, being a super hero, being Captain America. I never could put my finger on it and till today I am constantly searching for my “purpose”. Maybe my purpose is hidden in the next skill I learn, or the next job I take up. Ah well, I guess we just have to keep trying eh?

11. A Higher Preference

As a child, I was always drawn towards the most expensive item in the shop. Still am. I’d walk into a store, set my eyes on something, only to find out later – ooops, can’t afford that one! Sometimes, I do give in, after all, we only live once, so why think twice!

12. Books, please!

Reading is my FIRST LOVE. I love to read about anything and everything. My latest subject of interest is Spirituality. Check out my latest finds on this subject here.

13. Your head is way beyond the clouds

I was oftentimes considered “rude”,  “inattentive” or being accused of “day dreaming” as I used to zone off mid-conversation. While people were busy having trivial conversation, I was busy with my thoughts. I still do that. I’m never  100% present in conversations that do not trigger my interest.

So, if you can identify with any of the above traits, guess what you and I are rare! Let’s celebrate this fact and enjoy being our unique, weird selves!

I found the above from a very resourceful site. Click here to discover more about Introverts.

To discover what personality type you are, follow this link to take the test.



  1. How do HSP Manipulate Situations? By appealing to everyone’s “not wanting to be bully” and also to people’s sense of “showing they care. So the HSP acts easily hurt, delicate, etc.

    But its a very fast way of draining others! Yes, there really is such a thing as “Compassion-fatigue”. But if people then start avoiding the HSP and then the HSP at that point more convinced than ever that “nobody really cares” about them, then—I think it’s time they got professional help. Because it sounds more like they have depression.

    We can all seek out more ways to have more Fun, and Joys, even “little” ones. GO for it! Maybe its seeing a new movie, doing Macram-ay (spelling), walking a hiking trail, getting a suntan by a lake, window shopping at the Mall, reading that kewl novel or having a bacon-cheesburger and chocolate milkshake with yer best friend. We can all strive to have more “little Joys”, more often! Because “a little enthusiasm is good for the Soul”—The Owl30

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello Again!

    How do HSP Manipulate Situations? Like, why do people do that? It’s like, hey I’m not happy being a “domineering steamroller type because no one gives a shit about me” maybe I can try being an HSP and people would notice…

    What is this world coming to – i think i’ve been in my shell too long to register that people have become what you just pointed out in both your comments.

    It’s sad. And I think now I’ll just head back into my shell and deal with this ;(


  3. Wow – what an insight! And I totally agree. How does an Extroverted Intuition work anyway! Again – I am grateful for such great recommendations. Just checked out Life types on Amazon and – Click click click!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A Different comment (part 2).

    Being an “Empath”. It’s all the rage these days. Seems like “everyone-and-their-dog” wants to be an empath. Or–an “intuitive”. It just sounds so…so…”spiritual”, doesn’t it?

    No, there’s nothing particularly “wrong” with it. I’m not really saying that. But one wonders how it ever got to be so “cool” in the first place.

    But what I really point out in *this* comment is something about HSP’s (“Highly Sensitive Individuals”). I think everyone should be Alert about it. In this way:

    Most of us hate it when we are dealing some domineering, overbearing Steamroller type of person who’s bossy. I don’t like it either. However—

    In my Opinion—-I think this whole idea of *anyone* being an HSP could (brace yourself, this won’t be popular) very easily be a HUUUGE “slick” way of maniplating the daylights out of others! BIG-Time!

    We all have to be on-our-toes and practically VIGILANT as to not “hurt” or offend, or crush the feelings of poor-little-so-n-so because, after all, they’re just a sweet gentle soul and are so “sensitive” that:

    1. We have to be “constantly careful” around them.
    2. We cave-in and give them their way cuz we cant stand to see them cry (how wonderfully passive-aggressive and manipulative of them!)
    3. All of this hyper-caution that we dont “offend” them means they are no fun at all to be around.
    Do HSP’s go to high school dances? Do they play softball? Do they see movies in a theatre? Do they have a picnic with you at the Beach? Do they wander through the Mall for an afternoon just for fun?

    Is the answer: NO, to all? Then they are Sooooo introverted that they’re boring as hell. Would someone like that be anyone’s idea of “the perfect date?” I dont think so.

    “but we cant all be extroverted”. True! But—most of us have better thinbgs to do in Life than to spend draining amounts of time being someones “depression-coach” or caretaker. If a person is REALLY that much of an HSP, they should get professional help. Aside from that, the whole “tactic” of being an HSP is very manipulative. It’s simply the opposite end-of-the-scale from the domineering steamroller type. Instead of getting their way through anger, they try to get it through “compassion” and sadness. Beware.


  5. Ahhh, personlaity-types. A FUN Topic.

    Or as some folks refer to it all: “Myers-Briggs” or “the 16 Types”. My favorite book on this is called “Life Types” by Hirsch and Kummerow. Informative! And not overly technical. Kewwl! It takes each Type and follows them—as children, young adults, mid-life, older age and talks about each types ways of communicating, possible interests/abilities/hobbies, how they may behave on the job, their possible weaknesses, etc. I definitely recommend that book. Another good one (but I like Life Types better) is: “Type Talk” by Kroeger and Theussen.

    One GIGANTIC criticism I have of of “Types” (these days) is that people have badly strayed from THE BOOKS, those 2 books, and a new “Fad” has taken over. I call it: “All-FUNCTIONS-All-the-Time!”. Whoever talks (anymore) about “The 4 letters” of your type? And how they all combine into a whole profile for your type? Whoever talks anymore about SJ’s, NF’s, SP’s, etc. NO! These days it’s all about:
    Extroverted Intuition,
    Introverted Sensing,
    your least developed function, etc.
    Uugghhh…its as if its a whole different system. A gobbledy-gook mess.
    These people pushing “Function-itis” are just trying to make a name for themselves. I seriously doubt 90% of them have any MBTI certification–OR–have read either of the books I mentioned (I have both).


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