If it doesn’t make you happy…

So, I walked out of my job a couple of days ago.

Without going into too much detail, just know that there comes a moment in everyone’s life (mine included, for I am far from perfect) when you realize that you may have just ended up in the wrong place. In my case it was a wrong job.

I do not recall ever mentioning this, but I worked for my Step-Dad. (Umm.. yes, terrible decision, I know). But after two years of tolerating his narcissistic behavior, and bearing abuses, it was time to leave.  It was terrifying. I didn’t have a PLAN B. It was the only job I thought I was qualified for. I had no other options. All along, I stuck it out because my brain kept telling me that, it may not be great, but I’ll have to put up with it because there are no other options.

So I kept putting up with the nonsense, day in and day out. But deep down, I knew that this was the last thing that I needed to be in. And so, on Saturday, 9th April, I was done pretending to be in a job that I was never meant to be in, in the first place, and stormed out.

Yes, I needed a job. Yes, I needed to be in work. But, NOT THIS.

It had gotten to a point lately, where my body, my soul, my heart, my entire life force kept yelling every day, DON’T DO THIS ANYMORE. NOT THIS, but my mind kept trying to reason out and get me to stay and even go back on Monday. I mean, who storms out of employment without an alternate plan in place? Me, I guess.

I have heard of people who have walked out of bad situations without knowing if there was a better situation on the horizon. And others who have looked at the life they were in, and decided that they have no idea what their life is going to be, but this wasn’t it.

Logically, it is crazy to let go of a secure and stable job and take a plunge into the unknown.  No sane person would advise you to make such a leap, with no Plan B in place. After all, we are all meant to be certain and sure about the decisions we take…

But what happens if you keep ignoring the voices inside your head that scream, YOU DON’T NEED THIS ANYMORE, just because you don’t know what to do next? You may just find yourself stuck in that situation forever. And I’m not just talking about Work. It could be a relationship, or a circle of friends. Or anything.

Do you really think you need to know where you are going in order to admit and accept that where you are right now is not where you want to be?

I don’t know. You don’t know. In fact, NOBODY knows. It may be better, or it may be worse. But whatever it is, it’s definitely NOT THIS.

Do I regret my decision? Not for a moment. The mental peace and quite that I have right now are actually helping put pieces of my self-esteem back again. Even though I now know that I will be met with employment challenges, I am using the time to “carefully” (one irrational decision is enough for now) think about what I want to do next.

I am at peace with my decision, and I know, something will come up. Just need to wait and trust myself.

I got this!

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.”― Henry David Thoreau